dear uu (nana)....
it has been 11 days new year have started...well life remains unchaged for me..my hope for this year to get well like before...i want to be me in healthy way...
ermmm nana...my cancer has spread to my left side internal..im in aware n alert condition to avoid spreading to my heart...im doing my best to avoid it with all i have now...it hurts me a lot...n its so painful..there's no perfect word to describe how's the pain looks like here...semoga Allah swt memberi kekuatan to me to keep moving...
sakit nana, kalau u dapat rasa what's the feeling being me now, i must sure u can understand kenapa i buang tebiat dengan u right?? well, we cant turn the time back now...its written...im tired sangat2 nana, pergi ulang-alik hospital, the therapy and kaunseling and the rehab lagi...well, life is hard for me for the past one year and 2months...n pejamcelik i made it jugak to 2011...
nana...
all your frens boleh kata to me anything as they like...but for real im suffering from all the nausea from them..they have not been in my shoes, they have not feel the pain of this cancer, they dont know what's the meaning being suffered from it..and all they know is, they always think that they are so angel...my godness for heaven sake..please, belum kena kat batang idung sendiri or to the loved ones jangan buat andaian...its not good...God can see and hear nana...He has the Almighty Power that we dont have...who are we to judged others???Only HIM the Greatest yang boleh put that judgement to whoever he likes...we belongs to HIM...and my life dont belongs to them (the bunch of frens)..
this entire week was very exhausted like hell for me...i dont know why..maybe the cells too active making me so weak like nobody business nowdays...only today i have a bit of energy..and i must get something to type inside here for you nana...walaupun u tak tau or whatsoever...lantak lahh kann...my blog, my column, my words, my feelings and thoughts and my love..is all here...i dont care...at least im being so truth with myself here...and i dont want to let down anyone anymore for my illness...so this is the perfect place for me to jotdown everything...It pains me to be quiet when my heart wants to speak...mmmmm...
well nana...
its time for me to take off for a while...im in not good health now...je taime...
