..days goes by... and i am struggling to survive in every ways that i can...feeling breathing is the most precious thing that i have now...embrace life so much nowdays...

life is like a cycle...round 360degreess...ups and downs...life is not just to be happy and living in pain n sorrow...life is a test...and reality is the other world...

let the past be gone...do i have to turn back and look again??no...or perhaps...turning back for some good reasons...and the reason is "Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth"..hmmm.....

..from my little heart...

... when i was so down..where were you??....
... when i need you..you wasnt here for me neither in my heart and soul now...
... when my time has come...you are now far away distance from me...
... when im gone is there a worth for loving me??....

..dalam sujud itu...

...tiap kali aku tunaikan kewajipan sebagai umatNya...dan tiap kali sujud terakhir itu juga airmata mengalir deras tanpa paksa..

...sujud aku padaNya masih lagi beri aku peluang nikmati alam sekeliling dgn penuh sempurna...masih lagi bernafas...masih lagi bisa melihat keindahan, keajaiban, kebahagiaan dan kesedihan yang perlu aku harungi lagi...

...dan dalam sujud aku padaNya lagi...aku melepaskan rindu aku pada dia...betapa aku cinta akan dia seumur hidup aku...padaNya aku mohon supaya dia mengerti apa aku lalui...

..dalam sujud terakhir aku tak putus aku meminta padaNya berikan aku masa untuk menikmati segala yang aku impikan...walau tak sepenuhnya...dan dalam sujud itu juga aku bersyukur padaNya temukan aku dengan dia akhirnya....dia yang aku rindu...dia yang pertama...dia yang aku 'simpan' dalam hati selamanya...

..dan berilah aku bersujud lagi...jangan Engkau hentikan sujud aku itu....

..how do i live wihout everything...

..n how do i live without having "u" around me internally to keep me alive...n couldnt imagine that...there's always be you in me..no matter what....

tears dropping like falling falls everytime im remembering u..n things werent the same anymore...but to me u still the one that i always have all these while...

i just love u so much, that couldnt hardly see u down to know my condition...n it will hurt me more inside...how i wish god send my internal messenger to u so u could clearly understand me for good...never in my entire life to hurt u..and hurting u means im hurting my self badly like now n forever...

i just love uuu...for the rest of my life n till my last breathe....

...i have nothing...

yess listening to whitney houston's song "i have nothing" much affected to me...hmmm i do have nothing in my love anymore..."i have nothing if i dont have you" that's one of the lyrics..

nothing is compared to you...dedicate this song to you...

i miss you so badly n god knows how its felt inside me now n forever....


"Don't make me close one more door

I don't wanna hurt anymore

Stay in my arms if you dare

Or must I imagine you there

Don't walk away from me

I have nothing, If I don't have you..."

..4 months to go...

i felt my whole world turn dark and so down when i heard that 4 months....

hmm...that's what he said..but its all in Gods hand..his willing to heal...im praying for it so much...lots of thing to treasure with the love ones..and i have to spending my all entire second of life as much as possible now...i dont know when is the time coming...i want to be ready...everyone will lead that path soon...only time is the different...hmmm

Ya Allah...hambamu sungguh kerdil dan masih jahil dalam meniti kehidupan ini..berila peluang untuk hambamu ini menikmati saat2 terindah buat seketika...hentikan la derita dalam hati hambamu ini...hilangkan laa rasa rindu itu buat selama-lamanya...tiada apa lagi untuk di kenang...hambamu ini redha dengan ujianMu....